strength/light/love Forming a diamond, muses on life,

my mother says i am strong,
so i gave it to my daughter,
when i wrapped her in my arms
to assure her that i love her.
her four syllable phrases,
resonate responses i don't want her to see
i cant let her see me weak
not again
never again
i won't teach her to be that kind of woman


There are so many days that i wish I could take back and be a "better" mother. But today I recognize three things about myself that no one can convince me different on. 1. I am a queer woman of color. I am different than most and I am okay with that because this is exactly the way the goddess made me. I love it and accept it. I am not evil or wrong because of it. And anyone that chose to ignore this fact, was only making an ass out of themselves to begin with. 2. I am meant to perform. It's in my blood. I was blessed with more talent than I  have ever had the courage to express nor the permission to explore. I will not be detoured to the life I want to create for my family and myself. 3. I AM A KICK ASS MOM and there isn't a person on this planet that can tell me different. I am only such because of my partner. He is the village. While I am relieved to be free of our toxic relationship, I miss him. His companionship. The feeling that you get when you are around a person that you can sit/stand/lay in silence with. An at home feeling.

writer's block

I realize, its been a while since we've talked in a  language few ever get to speak.. in breaths and heartbeats,
it began the day we forgot how to read/situations between lines, tangled bodies lay intwined
under sheets of stars in eye sight
i spy
with my third eye/ endless horizons of you
 ___________________________________________________________________________________

I know why I can't write.. Its because I am afraid.. And I should be creating earrings right now.. I pray that this order isn't a fluke or scam..
I came back to him leaving, walking out the door without a good bye..  the outside air brought peace
definitely time for another shower
glad i didn't run away
at peace with dobeedo & teacher