09.28: preparation

Its been about a full month now that I have been unemployed, and have had absolutely no income whatsoever. Its only by the grace of the universe that I have survived this long. Regardless of how hard this struggle gets, I see that I am resilient, adaptable, resourceful, and stronger inside than I thought before. I'm recognizing a definite exponential positive growth within myself to not give in to the darkness that is beating against the locked door of its captivity. I have become a million times more powerful in the last 30 days then I had realized until today. Formerly I would have taken this free time to seek solace in a bottle or drug. I would have sought out the fast paying jobs & crowds of people that would allow me to sustain an inebriated state of wallow . Instead I spend my nights with my children laying in my arms way past their transition to sleepy land. I stay and watch them breath. I stay as close as possible for as long as possible so when they wake up in the night I am there.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

09.29: reinforcing positivity

I got a job! Even better I got the job that I wanted *does cat daddy*. The last 30 days has been a rollercoaster of unpredictability. Even today I was unsure of what I was going to do as far as making a steady stream of money, providing for myself and my family, etc. I'm still a little worried as to what I will do for the next few weeks to keep a roof over my head but I am not worried. My faith in myself has been restored as I have seen the actual results that come when you believe despite all odds. As ironic as this turn of events is, I'm steadier in my spirit than I have been in while. I believed I would get this job when I applied originally. And I kept the positive attitude that "I want" the job instead of the negative "need" thought which so often sends people into a desperate area mentally. Now I'm just thankful & excited for CUPCAKES!!!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile