Only I can sit at a busy bar and not talk to anyone, instead I write the rhymes I wish I could speak as fast as I think, typed thought, manifest an idea into reality, surrounded by inspiration, stuck in the spotlight, free flow turned bad style..
Alone, no love in or from the crowd, I sing, write.. I Speak words not speak freely
If every action has a consequence, I don't want to know what it is, too drunk to see where the bottom is, that's why we crash into pillows after billows of smoke. Pause... TBC
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Wednesday, September 14, 2011
09.03:Comfort
To my extreme surprise, J's sister came and took the children for the night, greatly altering our plans to have an afternoon of park antics. Instead we spread a blanket out on the floor and lounged about all afternoon & evening. With the exception of short walks of enlightenment, we did nothing and it was fantastic. To do nothing more than lay & cuddle with my husband. As separated as we may be, I recognize we still share love. He's still my best friend through it all. And sometimes my only friend. He puts up with my bullshit attitudes, and self-anger issues. He and I have a bond that goes beyond the pulpit and rules of society.
When I think about marriage & family, isn't that how it should be? We live in a "free" society so essentially people should be allowed to make their own rules by which to live their lives. Isn't that the purpose of free will?
Right now he & I are in a gray area known as separation. Even I'll admit that its weird some times. To have to leave his house after bed time and return to my own empty space, sometimes brings me down. Other times being alone is everything. Its comforting & enlightening to my soul. I'll wake up often and feel refreshed for a nights sleep uninterrupted by the fastidious kicking of our 4 year old or the choking scents of the prayer incense. I love sleeping alone some times. But today was a comfortable lounging type of day. Lounging with J is definitely one of my favorite past times. Most times he's the best company a girl could ask for. And today was just one of those days. Maybe it sends the "wrong" signal to him, for me to still be so comfortable with him that I can want to be separated from him, yet still get cozy in his arms in front the tv on a rainy night. And that is also the beauty of it, I guess.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
When I think about marriage & family, isn't that how it should be? We live in a "free" society so essentially people should be allowed to make their own rules by which to live their lives. Isn't that the purpose of free will?
Right now he & I are in a gray area known as separation. Even I'll admit that its weird some times. To have to leave his house after bed time and return to my own empty space, sometimes brings me down. Other times being alone is everything. Its comforting & enlightening to my soul. I'll wake up often and feel refreshed for a nights sleep uninterrupted by the fastidious kicking of our 4 year old or the choking scents of the prayer incense. I love sleeping alone some times. But today was a comfortable lounging type of day. Lounging with J is definitely one of my favorite past times. Most times he's the best company a girl could ask for. And today was just one of those days. Maybe it sends the "wrong" signal to him, for me to still be so comfortable with him that I can want to be separated from him, yet still get cozy in his arms in front the tv on a rainy night. And that is also the beauty of it, I guess.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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