#20

He's right about one thing, we did have it. That thing that bonds people together, a connection on the deepest levels of beings, what some call love has turned to slow torture through attempts to reclaim what once was true love. Despite the path it took to gain it, to make the neural connections to process the thought, we had it.
And its that one thing that got me tripping. Because there were imaginary lines drawn & crossed. Boundaries never truly established but unconsciously acknowledged and consciously forgotten. Like an invasion of enemy troops, my lines fell back till there was nothing between us but barriers. Barriers that held, & still stand strong defending the fragility of my heart.
The gift of love, each time delivered is accepted with the suspicions of a trojan horse. No longer blinded by the delusions and hopes of loves spell.. Now I see with eyes wide open the man separate from the father. If ever again they become one, only time will tell.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

#18(Venus) [draft]

I don't know what it is but
I can't put it down
Within the word written
I feel a connection,
to something bigger than us
Divine inspiration
Perhaps we were muses in a past life
Or nymph
I feel universes within you
There's more to this book than just the cover
I want to
Read on

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

#16 (My Scarlet Letter)

Worse than anything I hate is when I am made to feel that I am crazy. I hate it when people make me look & sound like a liar because they don't want to believe the truth. And because I lied ONE time, I am now branded forever with it on my forehead. Everything you don't want to believe becomes a lie. My actions become sneaky even though they are honest & just spontaneous. It just makes me see where I stand for real. Where I am I will never again be free without distance. I will always be seen as a lying. & adulterous because its what you want to believe. And so with that I give up. I'll do what ever her wants. Cause I'm not playing any games and I'm tired of trying to love someone who never existed in your eyes. I'm tired of trying to heal her. So if you ever catch a glimpse of her again, tell her I said bye.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile