I don't know who it is or if what I'm feeling is even real but for some time I feel a force interfering with my spirit. As if when I closed my eyes each night, someone or thing would attempt to capture my soul. If I didn't think about breathing, I didn't breathe. I could see the room around me, myself included laying limp on the mattress. My head nestled into the neck or back of one of the sleeping children beside me. And then I'll force myself to breathe and I snap awake in a sudden rush. Nights like that always left me shaken, laying in the dark for hours. Constantly on watch for some unknown assailant until I can calm my mind back to quiet and sleep. Even then its never a peaceful sleep. There are bad dreams that leave me in a foul mood without a recollection of how I got to such a dark place. When I was a young girl, I was afraid to go to sleep. I felt tormented.
to be continued...
JSC
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