09.23: learning lessons (patience)

Two days ago, I was told that my UE benefits had been held up because my former employer had protested my claim. [For those who don't know] When that happens, your claim is put on hold while an examiner goes over the claim to decide whether it is valid. Ie they decide when and if you get your benefits. But its not until you have made a claim for 3 weeks (a month in reality) that the "service people" can give you a direct number. Before that time you can only wait on hold for 45 or so minutes to be transferred to "their extension" (aka an answering machine) That was my Thursday (9.22)
Today I call back. Because wtf else am I going to do with my day? After requesting to be transferred to an examiner, the "service person" informs me that a decision has been made on my case. "Wonderful! " I think to myself while inquiring what it was. "I can't tell you, you have to wait for the letter to come in the mail sometime next week". WHAT??? At that point I am livid, and launch a barrage of questions full force in my white voice to no avail. The phone call ends with me even more tense than I started. More worried for myself then I have been for myself in a long time. But I continue on with my day with my little girl, this news weighing on my mind. I fall asleep about half way through nap time and although I don't know for certain, I'm sure I had a bad dream based around the possibility that I might be homeless within the day. Because I woke up in the black space. The realm of helplessness, a.k.a. "woe is me" land. That's probably why when I approached my landlady Rosa with calm conversation she stayed stern on her "pay up or get out" platform. In hindsight, I know it was my brief escape into negativity that set me up for failure later in the day. The irony of what's to follow is possibly due to a vigorous rant the universe (or God, whatever name you'd like to use) & some very real tears of frustration. Once calm, I decided to make a sacrifice for the sake of a roof over my head. I would sell my Xbox360 Kinect, knowing I could get an approximate total of $130 (or so I thought initially) for the system, Kinect attachment & 3 games I still had. Thinking I could easily borrow $25 from a friend to cover the rest of what I needed. Not a decision I made easily nor happily. A decisions that I instantly regretted but failed to stop from happening while I had the chance. Because an hour later I get off the train to hear a message from my mother letting me know, with joy in her voice, that she is going to send me my rent money when she gets off work. "SHIIIIIIITT!!!!"
Even though I had spent $6 of the $93 (word!! Wtf?!?) I received from my trade -in and tried to think of a way to replace it so I could get my beloved Xbox back. I hop on the bus to my destination laughing hysterically at the irony that is my life, allowing the idea of reversing my transaction that day slip out of the realm of possibility.

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